#i genuinely dont know how else to react like.
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Like it was never about me or what was best for me...I have to laugh because of how absolutely ABSURD it is
#and i let it HAPPEN#i genuinely dont know how else to react like.#stepping away and seeing it all for what it is in the light of day...with sober eyes...like wow. goddamn#like i just?? dont understand#'i told my friends about what you did to me' 'that's ur right' and then not even 2 weeks later 'i cant believe u told them..'#because i did it 'to make them hate you' like 1. then why did u do it. why did u do it then?#2. all i said was what you did.#then my friends said 'hey you deserve someone who listens to your boundaries that's not okay'#i shpuld be able to tell ppl how my partner treats me it shouldnt be smth i hide from them.#telling them was for me. but that didnt matter. your image did#well now they know. and now you know your actions have consequences.#it's just so infuriating. the amount i poured and poured and looking back it's like.#now i see so clearly it was all a fucking mirage it was never fucking real.#it's so unfair. i dont understand how it went on that long#not that he cares he gets to move on because he never really put in anything. no steps were taken no real truth was given#meanwhile i opened my life and bore my soul so.#like good for him ig he can just move on and get what he wants from someone new#and good for me because now i know more#but i still have to deal w this bullshit future i planned w someone who i now realized never wanted it really#like fuck. fuck#goddammit#so whatever i guess#and i hid SO MUCH because i KNEW how it would look#but to ME who had all the 'context' i didnt want them to just see what i told them#but i now realize the 'context' was all bullshit and i should not have been trying to protect someone who didnt even care enough to listen#to me saying no. god. i wasnt even asking for that much either.#i wasnt crazy. i wasnt acting like my dad. i was being a normal adult. it just crushes me.#because if i was in his place and i truly believed i was with my soul mate i would have simply done the hard shit.#but he didnt believe that ig so! now i know!!#yippee!!!!!
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crying whenever i talk about Cookie9 because all my friends have these interesting and unique theories on them while i take everything too literally and they all just stare at me like “dude… uuugh we r TIRED” <-they dont actually say this they are very kind to me but i can Feel It
#my version of them is centered around their blog version with the ‘personality’ of their steam review and like a bunch of HC#i developed them with the implication that they’re Real but i’m a bit iffy on it#because all my friends have theories about how they’re from the narrator’s consciousness which is sick as hell#and i’m unsure how to actually structure everything or if i should go the same route so i can get approval from them </3#my friends r the real reviewer fans even though they dont plague themselves over them every day and im so sad that i don’t know anythinggg#gggggggggggg#like im p sure they genuinely hate the stuff i make about cookie9 and im just. scrumbles myself. sorry im Trying :( i’m not smart#or good at writing or even media literate#whatever that term means#all i have is love in my heart for them i don’t know anything at all#ouhghghhg they hate It so much but i cant do anything else and it’s all i have#like all my cookie9 stuff works on the ‘what if their blog self Was Real’ but i’m not actually sure how to fit it all into my actual parabl#stuff because i still havent worked out how my parable itself works#and people probably don’t think i know enough and i don’t think they’ll approve if i try. so i Don’t#tempted to blame this on my like. general crushing lack of intelligence caused by both physical and mental reasons#but i want to believe i could do better if i try? but that’s incredibly hopeful#i’ll be stuck here forever i think#<-guy who. whenever Anything wrong happens ever. just goes back to ‘oh yeah its because im dumb as fuckign rocks. due to the Incidents’#i am very scared of the possibility that it is possible for me to be anything more because that implies that i’m stupid because i didnt try#even though i’m trying very very fucking hard and every time i get something wrong way more than anyone else i’ve ever known#and they hate me for it . MAN!!!!!!!!!#<-brain is lying 2 me i think nobody hates me or . whatever. it still feels like it though im just saying this because i dont want anyone t#think people genuinely hate me for being stupid. i mean. people DO. but not my friends ☝️#man i can’t even get into the buglivia crap either because she is so abstracted from her actual review#girl w identity issues and also the general normal Changing A Lot Through Time. i scrumble her. around#her Self during 2018 would in fact be in character for the review.i want to draw her during that time. she took everything so seriously </3#tbh my version of her does react well to TSP humor but at the time she felt like she wasn’t allowed 2 Do Her Thing and tried to seem#more professional and Normal and it seeped into EVERYTHING for a bit#cookie9 though just genuinely found the narrator annoying and patronizing. its just not his thing and thats fine#<-random nonsensechemical reviewer bits hidden inside the vents. SEND POST.
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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sometimes i go thru the gaylor tag to see updates or reactions or something and its so funny everytime. You people are insane i respect literally none of you etc etc
#barry.txt#taylor swift#NOTE: THIS IS COMING FROM AN RPF FREAK WHO COULD FEASIBLY IMAGINE TAYLOR SWIFT EATING PUSSY#HATERS IM SORRY BUT THIS ISNT FOR YOU. YOU WILL NOT EARN MY SYMPATHY. anyway#i think i just get really frustrated when a fanbase gets so caught up in itself it cant remember how like....people work#or how relationships function even celebrity ones#i have spent lots of time and energy watching how people react and listening to people talk about relationships and so im annoying abt it#kaylors bless ur hearts im glad ur having fun but posts about their secret relationship make me autism angry#i was THERE for the kaylor divorce. ive listened to evermore more time than id like to admit. theyve at most made an effort to mend a bridg#that baby is a kushner and to imply otherwise is either short sighted or genuinely concerning depending on how deep and intense#the theory is#i think part of the problem is that it forces me to interact w the wider swiftie fandom at large which is a no go zone#i have my circle of blogs i respect even if i find all discussion of travis kind of boring and whenever i try to step out of it#i just end up frustrated#stop trying to prove things! you will never prove things! we dont know her!#i also disagree w lots of the general lyrical analysis but thats not anger i respect the readings they just arent mine#but yeah whatever. script doctoring a niche subset of one of the biggest fandoms on earth. i cant help myself!#none of this applies to you if ur 15 or whatever but i do implore that you not waste all ur time on dumb celebrity theories#and go do anything else
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ik we talk about "karma" in the sense of "whatever you do will come back to bite you", but in a more realistic sense it just means action. every action has a reaction, etc. which is why its incorrect to blame your god/gods for the way you're mistreated in life bc 1. everyone has free-will and 2. they dont have control over the wheel of karma (at least not in hinduism), so when you're mistreated, you shouldn't ask "what have I done to accrue karma in the form of mistreatment" you should ask "why do these people suck so much", lol. it's not your god/gods punishing you, its other people exercising their free will and choosing to use it in a way that makes them suck as human beings 🤷 dont let people get off the hook by blaming the gods or some sort of nebulous "karma" you cant pin down, blame the people for being pieces of shits, dont let them think they're not actors in this and are just dutifully mistreating you on behalf of the laws of karma, bc they aren't, thats not how karma fucking works.
#yes yes ik i engage in 'ur gonna get ur karma' thought and 'why r u doing this to me god' thoughts too but thats like. an emotional response#its not the intellectual side of my brain speaking that knows better#its the emotional petty child in me that hates people and life that's speaking lol#if anything- with regards to karma- aka action- the only thing you should be asking yourself is 'what steps have i taken to end up in this#situation' and sometimes you didn't do shit wrong and other people just suck and they'll get negative shit for it too later#i do think 'whatever you do will come back to bite you' is true in a philosophical sense and maybe a bit in a metaphysical sense#but i dont think its always that clear or easy.#like sometimes my 'karma' is stepping on plastic water bottles or whatever other crap is on my floor bc i did the lack of action of cleanin#it up. its not that deep. sometimes its Just That.#i think karma can encompass both 'things you do will come back to you' and just simply 'action' but everyone only things its the first#when im p sure that wasnt even the original understanding of it? but maybe im wrong...#from what i gather 'what goes around comes around' wasnt the original meaning.#i think 'what goes around comes around' can stand on its own without having to be labeled karma all the time bc then ppl act like#*thats* the only karma that exist and then you end up in a thought loop about everything like 'what could i have possibly done to deserve#this' when maybe you didnt even do anything *wrong* per se you just made a poor choice#its a lot more simple than the metaphysical way people make it out to be. yes obviously everything you do something will react.#you engage in this world and the world reacts. naturally. sometimes it can be a grander 'karmic justice' thing but sometimes#you move your muscles to pick up a water bottle and a water bottle is picked up yaknow sdhjgfdshjgsd#dont get lost thinking everything is some sort of divine punishment ig is what im saying.#bc i have been there. bc some things i genuinely seriously ///cannot/// fathom why it happened to me.#also? sometimes its not your karma. sometimes how you're effected is someone elses karma.#like claiming to love something yet letting it wither and die...
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Why can't I be pissed like a normal person why is it just crying
#love group pojects when aomeone was supposed to write two pages of a report and just doesn't read the assignment and now im supposed to#figure out what the fuck he meant with Arduino reacts correctly.#THAT DOESNT MEAN SHIT#AND THEN SOMEONE ELSE JUST TOOK HORRID MINUTES SO NOTHING IS GETTING DONE#I GENUINELY JUST WANT TO FUCKING BE PISSED BUT NO IM JUST CRYING AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE#like two pages this guy wrote maybe five sentences that made some amount of sense and the rest is just I dont know how to do this#MY DUDE YOU SHOULD HAVE A TEST PLAN REGARDLESS WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW
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the first time i saw this, when i was NOT a byler shipper, i thought el was running TO mike. i thought we were getting a sweet moment where el runs to mike and he puts an arm around her or hugs her.
then i realized she was running away from him. 
and i was like, why?? they're supposed to be the couple why does she not want his comfort??
and even after will calls her out on doing mike wrong by lying to him, even after she sees that mike is attempting to talk to her and comfort her, that he's not angry at her, she still tells angela to lie to mike. more lies. that's how much she cares about keeping up the persona. had angela lied to mike, el would've continued lying to him the entire week. something she knows in her heart is wrong and not fair to mike.
this is a theme in s4. putting who you want to be seen as before being honest with your bf/gf. going above and beyond to preserve your lie, to be seen as who you want to be.
chrissy does that with jason. who she portrays herself as is completely different than who she really is and what she's really going through. jason has absolutely no idea chrissy is struggling and refused to believe chrissy would buy drugs, because chrissy didn't want to tell him. who knows how jason would've reacted if chrissy was honest, we don't know because chrissy didn't trust him enough to tell him. that's not love at all, that's sad.
this is a point in s2 as well. murray calls nancy out for being afraid to be her true self, and she stays with steve because she doesn't have to be her true self around him. she is her true self when she's with jonathan, and that's why they worked together. that's love.
the exact same thing happens with chrissy. the first time we see her genuinely smile is when she's with eddie. she's sweet and charismatic, and had she lived she totally would've gone to eddie's show, something you never would've expected from her, something her boyfriend, the person she pretends to love, would NEVER do.
robin and steve reinforce this too
you fall in love with the person who makes you feel accepted, the person who makes you feel like you can be who you are. the person you trust with your true self.
mike and el don't trust each other enough, they don't understand each other well enough.
they would have to change their behavior towards each other by leaps and bounds, and we're already at the last season. there is no time for that. stranger things isn't a multi season show about the complexity of romantic relationships and the healthy way to resolve problems. there is no time for that in just about any movie or show, especially a sci-fi show. you know what's way easier and way more likable? pairing your character with someone they naturally click with, who bring out the best in each other and for some reason can't help but be their authentic selves when they're with each other.
did it with jancy, like i said earlier
did it with lumax. when lucas and max talked on the bus max found herself spewing about things she'd never even said out loud before, and she had to stop herself. something about lucas just made her feel comfortable, like she could be herself and tell the truth. she trusted him.
"You're nothing like your brother, okay? You're cool and different, you're super smart, and you're like, totally tubular."
jopper too! joyce constantly had to hide things from bob, she was insecure about their family not being normal.
"This is not a normal family."
"It could be."
though bob had good intentions, the message of the show is not trying to be normal when you aren't. whatever it is about you that makes you weird or different, whatever you've been through that changed you, stay true to it. dont bottle it up and try to be someone else. all of vecnas victims in s4 were doing this, and it didn't end well for them.
they even did it with dustin and suzie. dustin constantly tries to impress max with his teeth, then in season 3 he says suzie thinks kissing is better without teeth. he doesn't have to be insecure about that or try to impress her. she likes him for him.
mike isn't comfortable being his true self around el either. he's insecure about his interests, he feels like he has to act older and cooler to impress her.
you shouldn't be with the person you feel you have to impress. you should be with the person who relieves that pressure, who makes you feel like being the authentic you is enough.
jonathan and nancy, lucas and max, joyce and hopper, dustin and suzie,
cough WILL AND MIKE cough...
#stranger things#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#byler endgame#byler analysis#mike wheeler i know what you are#stranger things 4#milkvan is bones#anti milkvan#jancy#jonathan byers#nancy wheeler#lumax#lucas sinclair#max mayfield
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Your writing is amazing 🤩
Can I request headcanons where The Big Three hedgehogs (separately) would react with a reader who doesn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with them; not because of them specifically, but because reader doesn’t want to be in life-threatening trouble all the time. They want to live peacefully, and they can’t have that if they’re dating hedgehogs who are known for attracting danger.
Sonic villains are scary and op. I wouldn’t want to deal with them, even if it meant rejecting the coolest characters in fiction.
Yandere triple s x Reader
Sonic:
Sonic is the embodiment of freedom and excitement, living life on the edge is all he knows. When you tell him you don't want to be in a relationship with him because of the chaos he attracts, he's initially confused.
"What do you mean you don't want excitement in your life?" he asks, his grin faltering. "You're seriously saying you'd rather stay boring and safe than, y'know, live it up with me?"
You explain that it's not about being boring, it's about being genuinely weary snd concerned. Eggman, Metal Sonic, literal GODS, waiting to pop out of the woodwork aren't exactly conducive to a peaceful lifestyle. You want to enjoy life without worrying about explosions, kidnappings, or world ending disasters.
At first, Sonic brushes it off with his usual charm. "C'mon, don't be like that. I'd never let anything happen to you, you know that!" But when you stand firm, his sunny charm starts to crack.
"Are you serious?" His voice lowers, losing its playful edge. "You're really turning me down because of a little danger? You think you're safer without me?"
His words filled with disbelief and growing frustration. How could you not see that he's the guy for you? He protects you better than anyone else could. Sure, Eggman"s schemes are dangerous, but they'd be even more dangerous if he wasn't around to stop them.
As days pass, Sonic'a obsession starts to surface in ways you didn't expect. He's always watching, always. You'll look out the window and catch a fleeting blur of blue, or feel the wind shift as he speeds past. You can't shake the feeling that he's nearby, even when you're alone.
When he finally confronts you again, his tone is far less casual than before. "You don't get it, do you? If you're not with me, you're vulnerable. I can't just leave you out here, waiting for something to happen. It's too dangerous without me."
His logic twists. In his mind, your rejection only proves that you need him more. You dont want to be around him because you dont want to get hurt? He'll give you that wish. Sonic begins isolating you from anything that could "endanger" you. Friends mysteriously cancel plans. Locations you frequent suddenly close down. If you dont want to be happy with him, thats fine, he'll make sure you cant be with anyone. After all, they might "endanger you" too
Shadow:
Shadow doesn't take rejection lightly. When you tell him that you don't want a relationship because of the danger associated with him, his first reaction is silent disbelief. He stares at you, his eyes narrowing as he tries to process what he just heard.
"You think being with me is dangerous?" His voice is cold, almost offended. "I've kept you alive all this time, haven't I? Do you really think anyone else could protect you better than me?"
You try to explain that it's not about him failing to protect you. You just don't want to wake up every day wondering which new villain will target you because of your association with him. Shadow's life is crazy, and just way too "eventful", and you're not cut out for that kind of stress.
For a moment, Shadow seems to consider your words. He's calculating, always analyzing the situation for the most logical solution. But then his own head gets the better of him, and the idea of you rejecting him, for any reason, sends him into a quiet fury.
"So, you think you can live a peaceful life without me?" His tone deceptively calm. "You think you can just walk away and no one will come after you?"
It’s a veiled threat, but there's truth in his words. Shadow's enemies are ruthless, and you even being friends would have already alerted them enough of your presence by now. In his mind, letting you go isn't just reckless, it's cruel. You need him, whether you realize it or not.
Shadow begins to follow you. He's always nearby, watching from the shadows, ensuring you're safe. But his presence isn't comforting. Every time you think you've escaped his grasp, he's there, reminding you that your "peaceful" life is a fantasy.
"You just dont understand, do you? If anything, im the only thing keeping you safe."
And if you still insist on resisting? Shadow's methods become less "gentle". He's not above using force to keep you by his side. In his mind, it's all justified. After all, he's doing this for your own good.
Silver:
Silver is the most emotionally vulnerable of the three. When you tell him you don't want to be in a relationship because of the danger he attracts, his first reaction is heartbreak.
"Wait... what?" His voice cracks, and his wide, teary eyes search your face for any sign that you're joking. "You… you don’t want to be with me? Why...?"
You explain that it's not about him as a person, it's about the constant danger. You're not strong like him. You don't have speed, psychic powers, or any training. You're just a regular mobian trying to survive, and being with him feels like painting a target on your back.
Silver's lip trembles as he tries to process your words. "But... I can protect you. I'd never let anything happen to you, I swear!" His desperation is just saddening. He doesn’t understand why you'd reject him when he's offering to keep you safe.
As the days go on, Silver becomes increasingly obsessive. He can't stop thinking about you, about how wrong it is for you to push him away. He convinces himself that you're just scared and that he needs to prove he can give you the peaceful life you want.
Silver starts "fixing" your life in ways that quickly spiral out of control. He uses his powers to move you away from anything he perceives as a threat. If someone looks at you the wrong way, they trip and fall. If a place feels "unsafe," he blocks your access to it entirely.
When he confronts you again, his tone is a mix of desperation and determination. "I've done everything I can to make things better for you! Don't you see? We can be together. You just have to trust me!"
If you still resist, Silver becomes more unhinged. He's not naturally violent, but his obsession with keeping you safe drives him to extremes. He starts to believe that the only way to protect you is to keep you with him, always.
"I know you're scared" he whispers, holding you close despite your protests. "But I’ll make everything okay. You'll see. You don't have to worry about anything anymore... because I’m here."
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#fanfic#sonic the hedgehog x reader#sonic x reader#shadow x reader#shadow the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog x reader#silver#shadow#silver the hedgehog#silver x reader#silver the hedgehog x reader#yandere shadow#yandere#yandere silver the hedgehog#yandere silver#yandere shadow the hedgehog#yandere sonic#yandere sonic the hedgehog#yandere sonic the hedgehog x reader#yandere shadow the hedgehog x reader#yandere silver the hedgehog x reader#yandere triple s#triple s#team triple s#Yandere triple s x Reader
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https://www.tumblr.com/agirlwithglam/760858969670582272/no-guys-you-dont-understand-i-love-myself
How does one get here😭
this was asked a long time ago but i think i finally found the words to write it. (i don't im just bored, sorry!)
so how does one fully love themselves?
getting to that point of my life took time. it took a lot of time. like around 1-2 years of time, and im still not 100% there- i still get hurt sometimes, i'm still emotional and sensitive. but the thing is, that over these 1-2 years i've learnt so much that whenever i'm feeling sad or hurt, i'm able to support myself. i am the first person who shows up for me and does my very best to console and help me. i help myself turn that pain into something even better. i walk myself through what happened and whether i may be overreacting or not. i am the one who is now always always always there for myself.
and i think once i realised this, i genuinely was like "woah." no matter what happens in my life, i will ALWAYS have myself and that thought just soothes me. it relaxes and calms me down. i am no longer scared because there is no reason to be. i know that i cannot control other people, other people will always do what they want to do. they can hurt you, make you happy, hurt you again, even unintentionally. i cannot control their actions, but i can control myself. i can control how i choose to view it and react to it. so every time i get hurt i walk myself through the steps of seeing it a different way.
another thing i did when i was insecure & trying to love myself is that i did affirmations religiously. in the morning doing skincare, i would always repeat affirmations or listen to affirmations. it would be phrases like "i love myself." / "i am beautiful", etc. it's not the sole thing that transformed my love for myself, but it did help a ton with me believing it. (doing affirmations enough time can also help rewire your brain into believing what you keep repeating)
also, you need to realise that you do love yourself. a human's natural state of being is love. return to that state of being. a little baby or a child, they are full of love. they give love, they receive love, they are never ending of love. and they are the purest form of a person for they are themselves before society has told them who to be. so do you realise that you deserve love fully and beyond what you could imagine? and the one person in the whole world that can give you that unlimited love, is yourself. but you must choose to love yourself.
stop constantly returning to the state of insecurity okay? thats not you!! you are not insecure, you just think you are insecure! but in reality, there is NOTHING to be insecure about. someone else could have the exact same quality as you and love it so much! so end this cycle of negativity. choose to live a different, happier, more positive life. its all up to you. u can CHOOSE to be different!
finally, to end with, honey it will take time. just because you don't find yourself loving what you see in the mirror after 1 day, doesn't mean you never will. you don't have to keep changing yourself to love yourself. if your daughter looked like you, would you hate her? would you cringe when you look at her? of course not. treat yourself as your daughter. be gentle with yourself. be there for yourself. show up for yourself. it may take time, but please, don't give up on yourself.
#agirlwithglam🎀✨#damn this was good.#self love#confidence#self confidence#self love advice#love yourself#it girl#it girl energy#becoming that girl#girlboss#self development#self improvement#girlblog#girlblogging#self worth#self validation#dream girl#dream girl tips#empowerment#happiness#positivity#self care#self growth#self love tips#asks#ask#inner peace#mindset#it girl mindset
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this was for a request for an edwin payne/gn reader dating hcs but i accidentally deleted the ask SORRYYY 😭😭 if you requested it here you go !!
edwin payne/reader dating hcs
a/n: there is nothing in this pertaining to the reader's gender but i'd like to clarify they are not a girl, as edwin is not attracted to women (to my knowledge)
reader can be read as either alive or dead
tags: gn!reader
what dating edwin payne would be like...
- before you started dating, or at the start of your relationship, edwin would be a little closed off (as is expected from him) but it was still obvious to everyone he had a soft spot for you
- even if he didnt outwardly show how taken with you he really was, it would be obvious through his actions alone
- on cases, he would especially watch out for your safety
- if you're sick or feeling even slightly unwell he will suggest you take a break from this case
- "i will come back to you. i promise." when you protest that he might need you there
- he'll give you long, long hugs when he returns
- lying in bed together after the case, facing each other, as he tells you about it
- would lay down with his head between your shoulder and neck, tracing patterns over your hand and wrist
- isn't terribly fond of pda but cheek kisses and hand holding, or linking your pinkies together are always on the table
- will also let you, and enjoy it when, you latch onto his arm
- this boy would totally try to court you
- at first his gifts would be typical types of gifts, like flowers or something expensive and fancy because he wants you to think highly of him
- but then one day he finds a silly stuffed animal he thinks you'd like and gives it to you
- you LOVE it ofc, and you dont waste a second in telling him
- he's a bit surprised but is happy you love it and would grin at you fully once you promise that yes, you really do think it's lovely
- after that, if he finds anything he knows you'll like, or if you say you want something, he WILL get it for you
- edwin taking you out on dates:
- he would put a lot of effort into your first date because, with all the running away from supernatural beings that want to kill you, he thinks both of you deserve a little normal
- imagine: a museum date, but at a kind of obscure museum that showcases ancient artifacts or something
- edwin would know a lot of facts about the different pieces and tell you about them
- however he will feel bad about going on too long, because this is your first date and he doesn't want to put you off already
- "i... apologise. i'm rambling."
- you: 'i don't mind. it's... attractive how smart you are."
- you were totally gonna say 'sexy' but is edwin really ready for that?? maybe not.
- then you kiss him before he can react, and his system kind of crashes (yeah, definitely not ready for 'sexy' just yet)
- he appreciates how you value his whole personality and genuinely love all parts of him
- he loves you just as much, if it wasn't obvious
- his love languages would probably be quality time and acts of service
- constantly making excuses to be near you
- "[ ] and i will go conduct some research in the library, the three of you can interview the witnesses."
- he thinks he's being subtle but charles, crystal, and niko always grin at you knowingly
- "have fun, lovebirds! try not to get distracted," <- coming from either of the other three, or maybe even all of them in unison
- edwin will splutter and blush
- once he realises there's no use in hiding how whipped he is for you, he'll outright say he wants to "go with his [boyfriend/partner]" to do whatever he wants to do
- he likes saying it out loud that you're together - it makes him feel giddy inside in a way no one else has before
- if you want a specific book for your research he'll take finding it very seriously
- you need a book from the top shelf? he's on it (like, literally on it, because if there's no step stool around he might actually climb the bookshelf)
- getting tired from your research? he'll mirror travel to a coffee shop and get you a drink and a sweet treat
- edwin would get jealous, and once he's secure in the relationship he would show it
- in the case of you being alive: imagine someone trying to flirt with you, maybe in the library or something from the earlier scenario
- he would knock over a book on purpose to spook the person who dared to flirt with HIS s.o
- when you tease him for it later he'll mutter something about being 'possibly a bit jealous.'
- it isn't that he doesn't trust you, as he will of course clarify, he's just very protective
#edwin payne/reader#edwin payne x reader#edwin payne x you#edwin paine/reader#edwin paine x reader#edwin paine#edwin payne#dead boy detectives x reader#dead boy detectives headcanons#dead boy detectives/reader#dead boy detectives#dbd
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Hii!! No idea if you take reqs rn but if you dont thats fine just ignore this!!
But if you doo... can you pretty please do the stardust cruseders x fem reader who has a identical twin?!?!
I wanna know how they would react and what they would think!! (Since i have a identical twin lolz)
Thank you and have a nice day!!>_<
Stardust Crusaders W/ an IdenticalTwin!Reader
Characters: Joseph Joestar (p3), Jotaro Kujo, Muhammad Avdol, Kakyoin Noriyaki, Jean Pierre Polnareff Type: Fem!Reader, Headcanons
had really great ideas for Polnareff and everyone else's is kind of short soz >.<
Warnings: none
Joseph Joestar
cannot tell you guys apart for the life of him
he just calls both of you by your name and see's who responds
pls do not sister swap and prank him he WILL fall for it 😭
he probably made a dirty joke about you being a twin at some point in his life (pls hit him for it)
honestly he probably has been hit more times than he can count for accidentally grabbing your twin instead of you 😭
whether its you or your twin doing the hitting you decide
Jotaro Kujo
even if you guys seem to not have any differences at all Jotaro can still tell you two apart without thought
even if you guys swap clothes or something he will just be like "??? why are you dressed like your sister"
and when you ask him how he knew he just shrugs
or he'll point out something so small, like maybe your left eyebrow is a little higher idk
but yeah finding out you had a twin wasn't that big of a deal to him
like ok cool whatever moving on
he probably doesn't interact with your twin like at all..
every time she's around he's kind of just like 🧍♂️ because he doesn't have much interest in getting to know her I guess
very much acquaintances and nothing more
Muhammad Avdol
another one who's really good at telling you apart, though not as instant as Jotaro
I think Avdol is a #certified lover so he spends a lot of time just admiring you
hence why he can recognize a difference
he knows you like the back of his hand too, so even if he couldn't tell you guys apart physically he could based off of your little mannerisms <3
he thinks it's cool you have a twin
he probably knows some nerdy spiritual shit about being twins idk
sometimes he might get you guys mixed up (or just genuinely say the wrong name) but he's quick to fix it and apologize
another one you shouldn't play pranks on because he just gets so genuinely confused and maybe even a little stressed...
Kakyoin Noriyaki
he can tell the difference but he has to stare at you really hard in order to get it 😭😭😭
relies on personality to tell you guys apart
or alternatively, he will get you some sort of wearable gift like a bracelet or something so he can tell much quicker
he doesn't tell you this though, he say's the gift is "just because"
then if you ever ask how he tells you and your twin apart he just says "I can just tell" (liar, its the jewelry)
Jean Pierre Polnareff
this guy...
the first time he met your twin happened to be when you weren't around
if you guys have different hair color/length/cuts bro probably just assumes you felt like switching styles and planned to surprise him or something...
"Oh la la, mon amour! I like what you've done with your hair!"
and your twin is just like ??? who is this guy
he probably tries grabbing/kissing your twin just to get punched or kicked in the nuts
and here you come, rounding the corner looking the same you did yesterday and he's like !?!?!?!?
he's not necessarily the smartest guy and considering the shit he's been through it's reasonable for him to assume your twin was the result of a stand...
and you're like bae no thats my sister
and he's like oh
he apologizes for harassing your twin...
if you guys are exactly identical like same style same hair everything this guy swears he can tell you guys apart when he really can't
he just goes by whoever responds to his nicknames
#jjba part 3#jjba#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojos bizarre adventure#jojo#jjba fanfic#jjba x reader#jjba x y/n#jjba x you#jojo jotaro#jojo's bizarre adventure#jotaro kujo#jjba jotaro#polnareff#kakyoin#jotaro x you#jotaro x reader#jotaro x y/n#noriaki kakyoin#jjba kakyoin#jojo kakyoin#kakyoin x reader#mohammed avdol#muhammad avdol#jjba avdol#avdol#jojo avdol#jean pierre polnareff#jotaro#jojo part 3
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How would Emily, Velvet, and Charlie react to their barely awake partner kissing them on the forehead and just fall asleep then and there?
Emily, Velvette, and Charlie getting sleepy forehead kisses from their partner
tweaking out, im only on my second post today and my hand is already cramping up hisshiss hiss i gotta lock in usually i dont start cramping until my 5th post notes: reader is gn, short post CWs: none
EMILY
very similar to charlie, shes into a lot of the cheesier cliché romantic stuff, and keeping up with similarities shes going to be laying in bed next to you happily turning over the interaction in her head
has a harder time keeping still afterwards, but she manages to not wake you up... she'd feel just awful if you she did end up waking you up! may cuddle up into you during the night until she falls asleep
will do something in return, whether it be waking you up with kisses or doing something else during the day... she doesnt view it as a transactional thing where she needs to give something in return... she just wants to return the energy!
intended to keep it to herself but she may blurt out what you did out of excitement while talking to you, she didnt mean to gush it just happened!
VELVETTE
shes not all that into affection, much less surprise bursts of it
its not that she doesnt love you or doesnt like doing affection, she just likes knowing when its going to happen, you know?
the only thing saving you from a look is that youre instantly crashing down into the bed.... shes going to let this slide just this once
this is making it sound like shes genuinely mad at you, though, shes not and shes not going to doing anything in retaliation or return for the surprise display
at most she may bring it up casually and tease you for it, lightheartedly with little intent to make you feel ashamed... though does it count as revenge if she enjoys the flushed look on your face when its brought up?
CHARLIE
shes going to want to smother you in kisses back or jump up in joy, ive mentioned before that she loves this sort of thing-
but youre so obviously tired and falling asleep
and she doesnt want to deprive you of sleep when you so obviously need it... so shes going to be sitting quietly thinking about it for a while until she herself falls asleep
not without giving you a kiss as well, even though youre more than knocked out by then
she makes a mental note to "get back at you" by waking you up with kisses in the morning
she gives off theatre kid vibes, shes going to love cheesy cute stuff like this... very easy way to get her in a good mood!
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel imagine#hazbin x reader#hazbin x you#hazbin imagine#hazbin emily x reader#hazbin emily x you#hazbin emily imagine#velvette x reader#velvette imagine#velvette x you#hazbin charlie imagine#hazbin charlie x reader#charlie x you#charlie imagine#charlie x reader#charlie morningstar x you#charlie morningstar x reader#charlie morningstar imagine#emily x reader#emily x you#emily imagine
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venting sorry... don't want to just delete it bc it helps to get it out just ignore this post pls 👍
haven't slept much at all and feeling so sick andstressed and in pain bc my period is due and so tired its making me dizzy but i cant sleep more or ill just feel more sick and I want a hug and to cry so hard into someones shoulder but no one cares or will even come near me it makes me feel diseased they think things about me that aren't true bc I struggle so much to communicate and thry all make assumptions insteqd and no one wants to give me space to talk to them about it so I cant undo that now and its all my fault and I'm so. exhausted :-(
#going to try and stay awake until lunch at least and yhen maybe ill take a nap. but i need to be able to sleep rpoperly tonight#at least i know im only feeling depressed bc my period is due which means my meds dont work how they should#like its kind of weird n psychologically interesting to feel so depressed again suddenly bc i havent been at all lately#well theres not much i can do abt feeling sick and in pain but ill take it easy. wasnt planning on leaving the house today anyway#and i do need to find a way to talk to ppl abt shit im struggling to communicate bc it really does bother me. and i dont want to do this#im tired of keeping everything in and wound so tightly i just want to feel seen and safe around someone please. please 🥹#its all well n good getting along with people better than i rver havebut if they still wont support me when im going through it#then it fades into shallowness like our friendship still has value. but im unable to feel close to them or safe around them#and right now im glad im doing so well im glad of so manynthings but its so scary to know that if i start doing bad again there is#noone and nothing there to catch me i dont have anything in the way of a safety net just myself. so better not fall 👍#and irs been makinf me feel so horrible lately bc my mum has been trying to emotionally drpend on me again and its making me feel like#when i was a teenager again and i was fighting for my fucking life against what i didnt know was mental illness and i had no outlet and#nowhere to go and i wanted to die so badly and meanwhile everyone around me was completely unaware and making me handle all of their#emotional issues and i was trapped there absorbing everyone elses damage and not being able to express mine and thankfully i didnt kill#myself and i got out and ive gotten so much bettee and worse and better sinxe and how i feel now is nothing like that really but im just#being reminded of it a lot and how hard expressing myself is and sometimes it feels like ive made so little progress#in thetorture labyrinth out here. but i dont want to do this forever i need to get better at expressing i just need people to support me#but i feel unsupported its like thin ice. but its alsonmy fault for not trusting. i dontnknowwwww.#maybe when i dont have to pay for private meds anymore and when i get this raise at the end of the year ill try therapy again#i dont think itll solve the issue bc its the ppl i care abt in my life that i need to be able to talk to. but maybe i can get some#better tools to help me be able to do that. i dontnknow i dont want to think about it anymore actually im going to go do smth else#sorry for venting its been a really nice weekend genuinely feeljng so good in general atm. and yeah i still struggle with the same things#but generally ive been handling their effect on my mental health so much better!!!! like im still feeling okay regardless of them#but they are still there and i will need to go from tolerating them to dissolvjng them at some point if i want to feel okay long term#it doesnt have to be like this. and i do actually truly believe that for once which rly is a sign of how much prpgress ive made!!!!#working on my shit is a fucking lifelong project....as im sure it is for everyone else too. all of our first time on planet earth#we will get through yhis. and anyway how i feel now is super temporary jsut triggered by a few thingsand ill keep reacting to them this#way until i managr to properly resolve them properly instead of folding them nicely and tucking them out of view#bleugh. okay yeah thats enough for now. meds softening the edges too ive stopped crying which is smth#chilling for a bit n then im going to watch some tv or a movie and iron and polish my boots and after lunch i might draw. or not we'll see
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Could I request headcanons for WHB Beelzebub reacting to gn s/o telling him how they want to hug him but they're genuinely worried that his nipples might hurt since it's pierced please?
Beelzebub with mc worried about his nipple piercings
tags: not much really, slight nsfw at the bottom
note: sorry that this is really short i feel like there wasn't much else to put 😭 ty for ur request!
i feel like he'd be a bit confused and think you're joking at first, but he'd think its cute that you're that concerned about him. he's had them for long enough that they're fully healed, so he doesn't even think about them that much
he'd probably pull you into a big hug when you're not expecting it to show you that it doesn't hurt, holding you tight against his chest and resting his chin on top of your head
dont think he wont tease you about it though, we should know that already. he is a demon after all, so even if it did hurt he would hug you anyway. we know from his bloodshed card that he likes pain anyway so.... it might not hurt much but he's more than welcome to letting you see for yourself
#what in hell is bad#whb#what in “hell” is bad?#prettybusy what in “hell” is bad?#whb beelzebub#whb x mc#whb x reader#ankiebitez requests#ankiebitez works
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eeee i love your writing!!! could i get chilchuck comforting a crying reader (who's normally very bubbly and happy)? Bonus if they're crying bc they think their feelings for chilchuck are unrequited 🫣
Thank you kindly dear anon, i hope your day is going well and that you have rested well and ate well.
Chilchuck was never good with emotions, both his and other peoples. He kept his own emotions hidden so as not to appear vulnerable. And when it came to other peoples emotions he was fine with the positive ones...but quickly became awkward when things turn negative.
In fact he might be the worst (well second worst possibly) when it comes to dealing with emotional issues. So when he walks in and sees you crying he freezes up like a deer caught in the headlights. Its such a foreign sight to him he wasnt even sure if he was seeing it right.
You have always been such a bright cheery person, No matter the situation you were always the one that had the biggest grin across your face telling everyone its going to be ok, to not give up and push on. That was one of the things chilchuck liked about you the most, even if he would talk about how a situation was impossible or that it was to dangerousm you were always the one reassuring him that things were going to be ok. He never said it but it really meant alot to him, usually he would just ignore it or blow it off but he knows deep down it helps him more than he lets on.
He stares at you sobbing, wide eyed for a few moments before quickly making his way over to you. "WOAH woah hey Y/N hey hey its ok! its ok, whats wrong are you hurt?"
He says quickly sitting down beside you putting an arm around you instinctually. He normally isnt one to get physical when it came to comforting people but it was just something he did before he even realized he was doing it.
"Im fine...im just stupid..a stupid stupid idiot...an idiot that should have known better" You said through tears before breaking into sobs again, chilchuck looked around awkwardly before pulling you into him to cry, he sat there patting your back trying to comfort you as best he could. patting your back and repeatedly saying it was ok softly.
Eventually when you finally manage to calm down he wipes away some tears from your face before speaking up. "Now tell me whats going on? what do you mean know beter?" You want to tell him the truth, it had been eating you alive for days and days now. But tonight you realized what the actual truth was, and it was to much and broke you to pieces, it was a truth you had tried to ignore but couldnt and it broke your very being. You dont want to tell anyone about it, let alone him...but you know he wont let you hide away and pretend like this wasnt happening. so you take a deep breath and speak.
"im sorry chilchuck...i know this is going to make you feel awkward...and i know..i know you dont feel the same way.....but i like you, i REALLY like you...i care about you more than anyone else. and i know its stupid and i should just get over it but...it hurts.." you admit to him, not even looking at him, With how you feel right now your sure you wouldnt want him seeing your face right now. He didnt say anything, he only stared wide eyed at you. You should have known this was how he was going to react, you know how he felt about inter group relationships so you know he wouldnt want any part of being with you. However your miserable thoughts were interrupted as he pulled you into a tight hug.
"hey dont talk like that...if there is anyone here thats an idiot its me. I do care about you, I really do. You mean alot more to me than you realize, and you help me stay sane down here." He says squeezing you tight, you sniffle softly as you cant believe what your hearing. "Im not great with emotions...both dealing with other people and my own. Whenever you would be so positive and cheery it would make me genuinely happy, but i didnt want to get to attached so id play it off or something but genuinely you have helped me so much down here. I also have....other reasons on why im so hesitant to show emotions that im not ready to talk about just yet...but i do care about you...in fact i think i might like you the same way you like me. I just struggle being open about things you know? i should have been honest with you and open about my feelings back...that way you wouldnt have to deal with this. Im sorry, But to make it up to you, once we rescue falin and leave the dungeon why dont i take you to dinner?"
You couldnt believe what you were hearing, he had feelings for you to?! you couldnt believe it, you could feel yourself hugging him close as you smiled into his shoulder. "That sounds great, id love to."
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how do u think the curtis gang (and the shepards) would react to finding papercut (literally) sleeping together
”(literally) sleeping together” is so funny to me😭😭
•pony and curly sleep w their limbs tangled up, they were even cuddling or anything before, they just did that in their sleep like they were wired headphones in ur pocket
•even if they wanted to, they cant just pull em off each other, just let them sleep it out, much to the annoyance and amusement of everyone else
•angela doesnt rlly gaf for what this implies shes using this bs for black mail😭
•tim doesnt care that much but is a lil amused bc he didnt think curly would actually be the kinda guy to WANT to be near anyone while he sleeps
•darry??? dont know how to feel about it but he sure as hell aint that supportive, he’s like “just leave them alone”
•can i say that soda would be a lil jealous that ponys “cuddling” someone else and not him, more so its the fact that its CURLY, if it was anyone else he’d be jokingly jealous, he knows pony and johnny cuddle
•speaking of johnny, he doesnt have a specific emotion, all he knows is he has a bunch if questions to be asking pony later on when he wakes up, hes not wscaping this questioning
•after ppl saw they they went to johnny asking “do u know if theyre,,,,????” and johnny had nothing to say to that, cause atp hes not too sure WHAT they r
•two bit is making jokes about them being gay but he is genuinely curious
•dallas doesnt gaf at all brah he wants the shepards OUT this house LMAOOO
•steve is impressed ponys actually getting SOME bitches like my god
•im saying all this but honestly, when they found them sleeping together, for the next 3 mins they were confused and talked about it but thats it, however for the rest of the time, it was just in the back of their heads, they didnt talk about it but they were surely thinking about it
•when they both woke up, NOBODY would let them breath over finding them like that, they r so done for, ik that car ride back home was hell for curly bc of angela, tim wasnt helping either he was chuckling a lil
#tim shepard#ponyboy curtis#curly shepard#purly#PaperCut ship#darrel curtis#darry curtis#angela shepard#dallas winston#sodapop curtis#two bit matthews#steve randle
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